This past Valentine’s Day, David and I decided to do a little something out of the norm and attend a young couple’s newlywed evening. The night began with Mass, followed by dinner, a few talks, and dancing.
And let me just preface this by saying the day of the event, David and I did NOT want to go. We had just been in an argument that morning and the last people we wanted to hang out with was each other. Not exactly how you want to spend your Valentine’s Day amiright?! But we put on our “happy” face and our fancy clothes and headed out despite our not-so-pretty attitudes.
Well when we were asked to do the readings for mass all I kept thinking was I’m probably not in a good place to do these readings but, not wanting to explain myself, we said yes anyways. I got up to do the first reading… Gen. 2 18-24… the creation of woman. A great reading. Next, David was up. And of course he had the reading from our wedding… oh you know the one… 1 Corinthians 12. Well I don’t know about anyone else in that chapel, but that second reading was speaking RIGHT to David and my grumpy selves.
“(Love) is not rude, it does not seek its own intereests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.”
Okay, thanks, God, we get it. So suttle. Not.
After Mass, David and I talked it out before heading to the dinner and we were feeling much better, especially after getting some food and wine in our bellys. But then came the talks. They were given by a married couple who are both counselors in the Michigan area and were focusing on things that can break your marraige and things that can build your marriage. And I’m not going to lie. I was sitting, listening to this couple talk, and at first all I could think was, well duh, I’ve heard that before.
Everything at first seemed like things I already knew. Like the importance of Christ in the center of your marriage, praying together often, treating your spouse like you treat friends or co-workers, finding out how they feel loved (not how you feel loved) and making them feel loved, not being resentful of past hurts, not holding grudges or piling on guilt or making someone feel bad for something… All of these, and more, were given to us (in a more pretty and articulate way than I just gave) as ways to better your marriage. But the more I realized I’d heard these before, the more I realized David and I weren’t necessarily good at doing them.
We’ve heard these suggestions all our engaged and dating life, and so it was second nature for me to think that, we’ve heard them, we know them, so that’s it. But I’ll admit. I know I’m guilty of doing something nice for David and hoping for reciprication. Or one of us blaming the other for something that is just silly and not necessary. Or one of us just fighting for the “upper hand” in an argument. Over and over I’ve heard these things we should do for our spouses, but I can’t say that David or I’ve been the best at practicing these daily.
After the reading we’d heard that day (one I’ve heard plenty of times before) and the “common sense” talks we’d heard, I knew David and I needed to make some changes. On the way home that night we talked some more and apologized again for our lame-o fight.
I’m learning this whole marriage thing isn’t the easiest thing I’ll do in my life. But it has the potential to be the most rewarding.
As I continue to learn more about being a better wife, I’m going to be starting another round of 31 Days of Prayer for Your Husband on March 1st! I would love for you join me. Don’t worry if you aren’t married or engaged, this is a great prayer for your future spouse, yourself, the men in your life, or really just about anybody in your life.
Click the link below to sign up and receive daily prayer intentions for your husband as well as corresponding Bible verses. After signing up, you’ll receive an email asking you to confirm your Sign Up.
By signing up, you’ll ALSO be entered into a GIVEAWAY to receive a rosary from Keogler Studios, a prayer journal and some other fun finds! Bonus entries for following me on Instagram and Twitter AND /OR share this on Twitter :) If you’re already following me, you’ll still get the bonus entry… Happy praying and good luck to all!